February 2012
26 posts
Are previous years of taking on everything you could imagine, with the burdens of stress to work off the residing sadness worth it? In comparison to believing that the pain will subside into nothing later on… I don’t believe in happiness right now. I want so badly to submit to my misery.
I just want to drop everything and go to...
dream-chasing:
And do nothing but run free and go on all the rides and take pictures with all the characters and act like more of a kid than all the kids there.
I just need something like that right now.
I don’t even fucking know you anymore.
I’m tired of everything.
“Something you said that sat on the tip of...
WatchMy God.
For a woman who can’t swim she sure finds serenity in the shower.
Only when she’s drowning, she resist kicking and screaming, and accepts submission.
This is for all of the sweethearts out there,...
Valentine, relent mine.
I’m rapidly losing my long time belief that a lifetime of love is out there for me.
Flirting with the monsters to bring out a twisted kind of work ethic and produces a barrier; this does not only seem reasonable to me but considerably more realistic at the time.
I’m tired of you only texting me whenever you need me. Or it’s convenient for you. It really sucks because sometimes I wish you’d call me or text me to see how I’m doing, like I do. I’ll hint at it sometimes but I think you try to avoid it, so I’ve stopped trying to. I understand it’s probably hard to think of me this way, because I have to deal with it...
And as for you.
I wonder if you were even going to tell me if I didn’t ask.
WatchOnce they throw up the Roc though.
jonathanpham:
Your words are clear; I hear you every time. But why is it that I feel less truth than what I felt yesterday?
Listen
I want to be within city sights and under bright...
I know they say it doesn’t solve anything to run from your problems, but even if I stayed everything would crumble before my eyes because there’s nothing left here for me to fix.
I’m going to have to start over again.
I might be spending my summer in Korea. My aunt owns a business in the metal industry and my mom is going to try to see if she can take me in to work for her.
I’m really pulling for this. I’m in need of new concepts, and a fresh start. I want new experiences.
Maybe one day I’ll have an reason for...
January 2012
24 posts
My insides are as frail and sensitive to bend as aluminum foil, and often it just crumbles inward and sits, hard and twisted in the pit of my stomach. That heavy feeling, that time bomb just waiting to agitate the rest of my senses. Then there’s the vacuum, sucking out my emotions, tearing away the good things.
I’ll wake up scared and unaware of where I am, and I just feel so alone...
The monsters are back.
I did something I never thought I’d do last night.
I have to make a change. I can’t be like this anymore. Most of all, I need somebody to talk to.
STOP SOPA →
Behind every tear I’ve ever shed is a...
I thought things were going to be better this time. I really did. I came back with a better mindset than I left, and I’ve done a lot to try to make up for some of the time we’ve spent arguing.
But fuck it when you’re on your own agenda and I’m trying to find shit to do in my spare time, without your help of course. Yet again, it falls on me and my two shoulders. Did it...
Waking up to a splitting headache and nausea. I’m so sick of not knowing what’s going on with my body.
Just got in from cruising the freeway 30 under the speed limit.
Everything has been passing so fast. I’m allowed to create some control over it.
Smiles and handshakes everywhere I go.
1 tag
I just hugged my mom and told her that I love her for the first time in a long time.
Everything seems like it’s falling into place and I’m happy.
Hold your breath. Make a wish. Count to three.
...
Elle!
Dario!
There are certain people who I hold extremely close to my heart.
I spent today with my lovely friend, Cayla. We went to the mall to help her pick out some last minute shopping stuff before she goes back to UCSB. Time spent with her is never time wasted.
She’s the kind of friend YOU ARE SO LUCKY TO HAVE.
No matter what, she’s there for you. She’s reasonable, sweet and most...
I JUST WANT MY GRADES TO BE POSTED ALREADY.
KTHXBYE.
Last night was scary. I’m still feeling the effects of it from my head throbbing and a heavy body, but ten hours of sleep has already helped miraculously.
I have to start caring for my body better. I’m so concentrated on always doing things and being busy that I neglect rest. I hate taking breaks, but if I’m gonna do what I do and do it well then I have to take it easy...
4, 3, 2, 1, what, we, fight, ing,
4, 3, 2, 1, I, don’t, know, what,
4, 3, 2, 1, what, we, fight, ing,
4, 3, 2, 1, I, don’t, know, what,
For.